Leading Your Wife in Love Like Christ

September 30, 2016

Good Afternoon Church,

I praise God this afternoon for His never changing constancy and ever present sovereignty.[1] How thankful I am that God is in complete control of all things[2] as the Great Creator and Sustainer of all that is and ever will be.[3]What comfort comes when we consider how His absolute sovereignty is always manifested in and through immutable attributes like His complete wisdom, utter justice, rich mercy, overflowing grace, blinding holiness, and everlasting love.[4] Therefore, we who are in Christ have nothing to fear, though the mountains around us give way and the seas beneath us tremble, we will not fear, because this sovereign, never changing God is our refuge and strength and a very present help in times of trouble.[5]  So, I pray that, as you consider these awesome truths, you can praise God with me today because, if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, God is working out all things for His ultimate glory and the good of those who love Him.[6] Furthermore, we have confidence to face and confront the calamities and chaos of our world because we know that nothing will separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord![7]

Now, over the past few weeks in our expositional study of Colossians, we have been confronted by the all-consuming reality of the Lordship of Jesus Christ and how that truth directly impacts the home. We have considered the marriage relationship, as well as the parent-child dynamic, and how submitting to Christ’s utter supremacy will reveal a wife’s submission, a husband’s love, a child’s obedience, and parental discipline that is balanced. Well, today I want to go back and recap a few of the lessons learned pertaining to how a husband loves his wife like Christ. These are powerful truths that every man needs to be reminded of, and many men need to be exhorted in, as far too many fathers and husbands are phantoms within the family.

No one will deny that our country, our culture, and even our world are circling the drain of self-destruction at an exponential rate. While there are many causes to the current catastrophe facing our country, one of the primary reasons rests upon the destruction of the family through the marginalization of marriage. This marginalization of what God declared to be magnificent[8] often happens through husbands, who have never been taught, minimize, forget about, or just completely abdicate their awesome responsibility to lead their wife in love like Christ. The devastating results of this dereliction of duty can be clearly seen, in part, with the destruction of the family as God designed, and the complete destabilization of society. Biblical, godly, solid marriages are not only the roots to a strong family, but also the concrete that provides stability to every society. Therefore, over the next few weeks we will consider what it practically looks like to love your wife like Christ loved the Church.

Leading Your Wife in Love Like Christ


Loving your wife as Christ loved the Church[9] is a command that comes with few words, yet has profound impact. It is concise, yet all encompassing, extremely difficult, and utterly impossible apart from Christ. Yet it is a married man’s supreme earthly responsibility.[10]  However, what does this kind of love look like? How does it manifest itself in the home and in the relationship? What will a man do if he actually leads his family, and most specifically his wife, in love like Christ?

  1. A godly husband will love his wife reverently![11] This means he will love her respectfully and humbly as he considers the serious nature of this calling upon his life. This responsibility is a divine summons, not a suggestion; it is an act of obedience, not an option. Never forget that this is a stewardship calling to which you will give an account to God, as your wife is a gift from God[12] who is also precious to God,[13] and a coheir and equal with you to the grace of life.[14] Furthermore, this is a sacred calling in that a husband is to serve as Christ’s reflection, drawing and encouraging his wife closer to Christ through how he leads, lives, and loves. A husband is not Christ, but his life should so portray Christ that when a wife looks at her husband she not only sees Christ, but is actually drawn closer to Christ by what she sees. Moreover, this is a sanctifying calling as Christ seeks the purification and godliness of the Church. So, each husband should be living and loving in such a way as to help foster sanctification in the life of his wife.[15] Thus, husbands should be in the Word with their wives, leading and teaching them as they wash them with the Scriptures. Hence a husband cannot display someone he has never met, or teach that which he does not know! Therefore men, we must saturate our lives with Christ as we seek to lead, live, and look like Christ! We must remain a committed bride of Christ if we are ever going to be a consecrated husband!
  1. A godly husband will love his wife sacrificially![16] This means just as Christ gave himself up for the Church, so a godly husband will give himself up in sacrificial love and service to his wife. This will manifest itself in a love that is aggressive, being one that is both willing and working towards the betterment of the other person.[17] One that is proactive in displaying love, not passive. This kind of love will be one that personally initiates and openly illustrates the nature and depth of affection.[18] Consider how Christ’s love for the Church was not, nor is it now, hidden or obscure.[19] This is a costly love that is willing to invest time, energy, money, and even set aside personal dreams to serve and encourage the life of your wife.[20] This sacrificial love is the kind that gives rather then gets, one that is willing to serve rather than be served.[21] Moreover, this is a selfless love, one that is motivated by the needs of your spouse. As a matter of fact, love’s ultimate mission is to meet the needs of others, even if it demands setting personal needs aside. Contemplate the display of this kind of love in how Christ became poor that we might become rich.[22] Furthermore, consider how we know love in this, that Christ laid down His life for us, so we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers,[23] and most assuredly our wives, men!

I look forward to worshipping with you this Lord’s Day as we consider that great section in Colossians that directs our work to the ultimate glory of God.[24] Paul turns his attention from parents to slaves and masters, and actually gives twice as many verses to this audience than he did to married couples, parents, or children. But why does he spend so much time talking to slaves and masters, and why does he not condemn slavery? How in the world does this section apply to me, and what do I learn about Christ’s Lordship that will impact my life and walk today? Well, we will examine this text critically, especially in light of the racial tension within our world and the sad history of our country as it relates to slavery, and we will see many wonderful truths that greatly encourage our walk as we seek to live our lives in light Christ’s supremacy.

A Fellow Slave of Christ,

Pastor Matt


[1] Mal 3:6; Heb 13:8; Jas 1:17; Ps 115:3; Isa 46:9-10; Dan 2:20-22; Eph 1:11

[2] Ps 135:5-7; Prov 16:1-4

[3] Gen 1:1; Col 1:16-17;

[4] Ex 34:6-7; Lam 3:21-24; Ps 103:1-14

[5] Ps 46:1-5

[6] Rom 8:28-30

[7] Rom 8:31-39

[8] Gen 2:24-25; Mt 19:4-6; Eph 5:22-33

[9] Eph 5:25; Col 3:19

[10] 1 Cor 11:3; Eph 5:26-32; 1 Pet 3:7

[11] Eph 5:25

[12] Gen 2:22; Prov 18:22; 19:14; 1 Cor 11:9

[13] Eph 5:25; Acts 20:28; 1 Pet 3:1-6;

[14] 1Pet 3:7

[15] Eph 5:26-27; 1 Cor 14:35; 1 Tim 3:4; 1 Pet 3:7

[16] Eph 5:25b

[17] Jn 10:10-11

[18] Rom 5:8; 1 Jn 4:19

[19] 2 Cor 5:14-15

[20] Phil 2:1-11

[21] Mt 20:28

[22] 2 Cor 8:9

[23] 1 Jn 3:16

[24] Col 3:22-4:1


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